So many of my friends and family know I have wanted to adopt for much of my life. It made me so happy to find out my now-husband had an equal passion for adoption when we met. Given that many who know us were aware of this mutual desire before we were married, we’ve been asked a lot since March if we have started the process, etc. so I decided it was time to formally fill you all in.
This image from Adopt-Connect does a great job of laying out the general process, but in regards to our individual process there would be an added step between “evaluate” and “home study” – finding an adoption consultant. While consultants are not required for the process, I know many people who’ve used them to help make the process less intimidating and for the education they offer regarding grants, fundraising, and interest-free loans available to adoptive families. We are currently preparing to cross “find an adoption consultant” off our list and move onto the home study!
Now that I’ve explained what our process will look like, I want to address some more specifics about adopting and our desires to adopt:
1. For us, this was never a “second choice” or backup plan! While there are many people who do make the choice to pursue every possibility for having a biological child before choosing adoption, that wasn’t our choice. I have known since early adulthood that the odds of me having a biological child without medical assistance were slim, and while this was a difficult thing for me to accept initially I have gotten to a place where I don’t feel the grief of infertility often (if ever). While we would be overjoyed to have a biological child without intervention, we would rather spend the money we could spend attempting IVF to give a loving home to a child who needs one.
2. Fundraising doesn’t wait until you are matched!! Consulting agencies present your adoption profile to every adoption agency they work with to give families the best chance at the speediest process possible. For this reason, waiting until you are matched to fundraise would put you WAY behind. We will be pursuing grants along with considering interest-free loans for adoption, but we will likely do some fundraising to supplement what we are saving for this process. Many families start fundraising as soon as their home study is complete, because once that is done you are “ready” to adopt at any time. We will likely do the same.
3. Lastly, there are rumors out there that there are too many families wanting to adopt domestically and not enough children up for adoption to meet the demand. The truth is there are many, many, MANY babies who need to be adopted – there just aren’t many caucasian babies who are also free of prenatal drug exposure or history of mental illness available for adoption. Lucky for us, we don’t require that the baby we adopt look just like us!
I hope this has given you some insight both on our process and adoption in general. You can expect more adoption related posts in the future as we continue with the process and once we have completed our adoption.